The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
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Ive started to think that maybe we would be better off not knowing about the incidents to come.
At this point, I dont even need another marshmallow.
Ill take a crudites platter.
Last years Halloween candy.
Any crumb of intrigue will do.
Plus, theyre fucking bizarre.
Give us more of that!
For instance, the opening clipsicles are yet again a carousel of fascination.
What is the chin winning?
We also get a special continuity error courtesy of Seths facial hair.
My guy FaceTimes Meredith to ask if her eyes are real, and he has a full beard.
Was this then filmed before last weeks soul-patch reveal?
Is the beard fake?
Thanks to months and months of a devastating global pandemic, shes doubled her business.
I think this is a bad and pointless idea.
Just let her vibe, Heather!
Anyway, Jen pulls up in a Porsche to meet Lisa for snow-biking with their instructor, Coach David.
Where is Coach Shah?
Not necessarily here, but just generally?
We saw him at Auntie Nanis meet-and-greet, but otherwise?
What is his level of involvement in Jens business?
Did the feds thoroughly check the rafters during their warranted search?
Who was the wired-upBig PussyBonpensiero to Jens Tony Soprano?
Is Jen even Tony in this metaphor?
The people need to know!
Jens planning an adventure outing for the girls to get them out of their comfort zone.
Dont worry, though; shes not stealing their identity!
Jen hopes they can all get to a better place.
We take a detour to grab grilled cheeses with board-certified gynecologist Mary Cosby, and oh wow.
The U.S. Army is exploring some wild new roads for Gen Z recruitment.
No one has to enlist against their will here!
In other parenting news, the Nguyens and the Gays are both having family time.
Its all more endearing than Id like to admit.
Before we get too tangled in our coming-of-age heartstrings, its BLAZER-O-CLOCK.
Yep, thats right.
Meredith invites her closest fashion friends and Mary Cosby to ogle the latest lewks.
There is way too little playing dress-up and way too much rehashing Jen Shahs Twitter likes.
Lisa manages to segue flawlessly from whatevers happening on this outing into an infomercial for Del Tacos fish tacos.
An impressive showing by all, especially so early in the race!
But more interestingly, Jennie has game.
Shes been here for seven collective minutes and immediately sidelines Lisas pathetic peacemaking.
The real question is, do you wanna be friends with her, or not?
Meredith storms off and to be continued.
See yall next week for hopefully the end of this fight and the beginning of Marys home renovations!
Ive abandoned all expectations of witnessing criminal activity until at least episode eight.
The bar has been lowered to subterranean levels!
