The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
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Did this episode need to exist?
I recognize Im playing a dangerous game here because arguably noepisode of Bravo programmingneedsto exist.
Dont get me wrong!
But the juicy bits here were all in the preview?
On the bright side, at least clipsicles are back!
Its some movers at Shah Chalet who stroll in to give a quote for a 9,000-to-4,500 sq.
ft. downsize and, wait just a minute!
Why does Jen know them so well?
How many times has Jen moved within the greater SLC area?
This all logically points us to a haunting hypothesis: Jens favorite flavor of LaCroix is COCONUT.
Someone call the feds (maybe Meredith has their number handy?)!
Her sisters, brother, and mom dont show up.
I need to know if participate means be on a Bravo television program or interact with a non-Mormon.
Oh, GLAAD is somehow involved, as well.
I refuse to believe any human male has ever asked this.
Plus, Things Remembered is still operating out of plenty of local malls.
This particular market is surely satiated.
Anyway, Brooks makes an incest joke, so Im choosing to disengage from this scene.
By business, I mean sponcon for LoveIsArt.
That 401k isnt gonna rebuild itself!
Alas, its time for all the gals to gussy up for the final VIDA event of the season.
Mark those calendars).
Crossing my fingers for Gaga-as-Gucci x Alexis Neiers being the overall vibe.
The VIDA event theme is 80s/90s DECADENCE for the release of their crystal-adorned bottles.
The catering is Stouffers french bread pizzas made in a toaster oven.
The dress code is Amelia Earhart-meets-Miss Cleo, or at least thats how Jen interprets it.
Decadence across the board!
Lisa tells Meredith, LOOK HOW CUTE WE LOOK.
WE LOOK BEAUTIFUL; YOU LOOK SO PRETTY, COME SIT DOWN.
IM GLAD YOURE HERE I LOVE YOU.
Would the average therapy jargon TikToker classify this as love bombing?
Because they follow the lead what Im telling them to do because its coming from me.
I dont waffle in pain.
I dont waffle in people hurting I forgive them and move on.
Jennie flips their conversation into Mary not liking her.
Mary tells her to shut up then says, okay, you gettin hood on us, huh?
before also muttering to her henchman, Jesus (presumably), to come get this little ant.
Jennie calls Mary uneducated, yells more, then throws a glass at her when she walks away.
I have never been more TEAM NO-ONE than this racist/classist showdown.
Post-brawl, Jen breaks down Jennies glass-throwing technique and determinesher ownto be superior.
Lisa tries to get everyone to move beyond neutral and do a group hug of friendship.
And with that, the seasons a wrap.
Thanks for hanging with me the last 21 weeks, and see yall on the other side.
<3
