The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip
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Turns out the answer is no, and it turns out that it doesnt really matter anyway.
Before we get into the episode, a quick programming note.
We needed an all-star roster of recappers for this little experiment in cross-brand synergy and Andy Cohen enrichment.
Its sort of like the first day after you get your undercarriage waxed.
(I know Im mixing myHousewivesmetaphors, but this whole thing has me discombobulated.)
The next big difference is that there are no taglines.
Instead, we get something weve never experienced in our decades asHousewivesfans: a theme song.
Is this the cultural appropriation that kids are talking so much about?
It sounds like this song is byChet Haze featuring the picture of Adele with Bantu knots.
At the very beginning, we see Teresa Giudice say, Not everyone here is an OG.
Melissas not an OG.
Teresa will not let Melissa live!
Teresa just nods her head in a way that says, I still hate you for coming onmyshow.
Theyve gone out to dinner with their spouses and even vacationed together.
(BTW, we all know it was Kenya.)
As they say, theyre the normal girls.
Theyre the fun ones.
Theyre the ones who you actually want to sit next to at dinner.
Speaking of which, Im so glad that some of these women arent afraid to come for Teresa.
Before they even board the plane, Ramona Singer tells Kyle she thinks that Teresa is like the Scarecrow.
You know, if she only had a brain.
How do you solve a problem like Ramona?
How do you take a fart and pin it down?
As soon as they get on the private jet, shes causing trouble.
Shes not wrong, but to go around saying, Youre welcome.
Youre welcome, to everyone and rubbing it in their faces is not the move.
Kenya Moore asks her, Were you married at the time?
Then Kenya asks, And you were flirting with him?!
Ramona takes offense and shouts, Yeah, because I was getting divorced, bitch.
Thats worse than feeding a Gremlin after midnight.
But all of the women together put Ramona in perspective.
Do you want people to think youre a complete asshole?
Im not an asshole, Ramona replies.
Well you behaved like one.
Im sorry you feel that way.
Its not how I feel, I think everyone feels that way.
You are being an asshole.
Thank you, Kenya!
Yes, Kenya is a shade assassin.
She is completely justified and, for a change, her heaping dose of shade is not unwarranted.
They say shes an asshole and needs to apologize.
I mean, does the cast ofRHOAlook to her like the interchangeable blonde ladies ofSelling Sunsetlook to me?
The women get up to a lot of their usual tricks.
Teresa cant say the word concierge so she calls Michael, their ridiculously handsome manservant, a butler.
Kyle did the splits.
Well, she didnt, but you know that she is going to sometime soon.
It was the women behaving like they always do but in a different context.
Yes, I say the same thing whenever I meet Housewives.
(But does that mean that Melissa plays someone else on her show?)
There are leaks to TMZ because, hello, these are Housewives.
More of this, just!
This is exactly what we want.
The context of the show is reality television itself.
How could I ever have low expectations of that?
