The Resort
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Does it feel weird to anyone else that there are supposed to be five more episodes ofThe Resort?
All that is to say, man, a lot happens in every episode ofThe Resort.
When they find it, they see it is still very much intact, weirdly.
I kinda thought you liked dicks, he responds.
Where is this thing even being held?
It has four noses.
Enter off-brand Santa, whos seemingly pretty fucked-up on something and is also pretty fucked-up-seeming overall.
Sam asks him about his skateboard only for the man to tell Sam to leave him alone.
The man flinches just as Sam goes for it, and he takes an elbow to the nose.
yells Santa, but the two flee and Santa seemingly does nothing about it … or does he?
Once inside, clothes come off and they seem poised to get it on, which, bad idea.
Go literally anywhere else.
Of course, someone comes into the penthouse and they have to hide in the closet.
Neither possibility seems great.
Thats when Noah finds Emmas broken tooth, which she has stuck in a little baggie.
Enter Balthasar, who is alive and in search of something.
He finds the Razr that Emma put Sams SIM card into and heads for the doors.
On-edge Emma cant have that, and she sprints after him.
Theres a scuffle and the phone lands on the edge of the elevator.
As Balthasar goes for it, Emma clocks him with the golf club.
The phone then seemingly rings silently (?!?!)
and down it goes into the depths of the elevator shaft, presumably destroyed forever.
(Or is it?)
LastResort:
Obviously, I have nothing but questions about Balthasars big dance number.
Is that just something he does?
And why didnt he like Sam, other than the fact that Sam probably shouldnt have been there?
Has anyone ever successfully hidden in a closet on TV or in a movie?
