The Watcher
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In gobsmacking news, Theodora reports that Andrew is a batshit-crazy pathological liar.
I guess I should have vetted him better before I made the introduction, just incredible work here.
Again I ask: Has Dean considered putting this womans name in a search engine?
Has he looked upanyonehe has come in contact with since moving to Westfield?
Do we think its Darren?
I feel like it would be more interesting if it were the detective.
Karen deduces that Nora is tense because she isnt getting laid.
And here things get intriguing: Nora doesnt like the way that Dean fixates on their daughters sexuality.
Has she considered … talking to him about this?
I also ask: Why is it taking so long to install security cameras?
Am I insane or can you not just do that in an afternoon?
you’re gonna wanna do some minor construction and get the fuck out.
Karen wisely points out that the house wont sell for a dollar once people find out about the letters.
And shes found an alternative home!
Back home, Carter is playing soccer in the backyard in khakis, as young boys love to do.
Every young man Ive ever met enjoys doing fitness in khakis.
Dean is mad that Ellies door is locked.
(What is with this show and locked doors?!
Let people have privacy!)
And Ellies like, theres construction workers everywhere and a whack job trying to kill us.
She is, of course, 1,000 percent hooking up with the alarm teen in there.
As the rules of TV-teen hook-uppery require, he hides in the closet and escapes through the window.
Wouldnt he have a clipboard or something?
John wants to know if the Brannocks are a Christian family.
John says more stuff about how people used to not lock their doors.
ENOUGH with the door locking!
Oh, also he wants people to go to church more.
Thanks for weighing in, John.
In my notes, I write,No wonder Randy made partner over you, Dean!!!
Nora puts on her sexiest outfit enormous cardigan the color of wet sand, khakis to seduce her husband.
Unfortunately, he cannot concentrate on having sex with his beige wife until he turns on the alarm.
Yet ANOTHER dog barks distantly, and I swear that dog better be the Watcher.
The series cannot be complete until everyone says at least one line about ~watching~ someone else.
Theodora calls Dean at work and he slips out of a meeting for an EXTREMELY lengthy confab with her.
I guess he has given up on getting a promotion.
This episode couldve been 40 minutes long, is what Im trying to say.
So Theodora has intel that would run afoul of the Westfield Police Department and the whole town.
I mean … duh?
Why wasnt he also looking in the file box?
That would be the first place I would look??
Everyone here is an idiot (unless hes the Watcher, covering his tracks).
At this point Dean wants to know if the house is haunted.
Theodora responds with a non-answer about how Johns life was a facade and only the Watcher knew the truth.
Whose side are you on, Theodora?
and then murders each member of his family, one by one.
The dialogue that accompanies these scenes just destroys me because HOW would Theodora know any of this??
At the end of the killing spree, John puts Wagners Gotterdammerung on the intercom.
What is irritating to me about this sequence is we are told that Jasper was friends with Johns son.
So why is Jasper a fully grown adult in the flashback?
Johns body was never found.
Oh, also later the pervy teacher was found shot dead in his car.
Different gun, though.
Couldve been somebody else.
Im not sure your pervy teachers are typically monogamous creatures, you know?
Somebody elses dad might have had a motive.
Also ALSO: Even though John was MIA, somebody presumably the Watcher?
was getting his familys mail and the newspaper and all that.
Just in case you were like,What is the Watcher up to??
Been a while, buddy!
Maybe your interests have changed?,the note assures us: Im still watching.
