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The White Lotus is coming toVulture Festival!
But WHO will those someones be??
And who will wind up a floating corpse in the Ionian Sea?Allora, andiamo!
.Tanya McQuoid-Hunt (Jennifer Coolidge)
.
(Youre gonna have to get lost, Tanya explains to poor Portia.
Her relationship seems like its in a very uneasy and not-romantic place.
If a man made fun of me for eating macarons, I would absolutely murder him.
She might end up becoming the one constant through however many seasons of this show were going to get.
Current status:extremely unlikely.
.Greg Hunt (Jon Gries)
Hes taking mysterious work calls in the bathroom.
Hes negging his wife.
But you cant get away from yourself, now can you??
Will he be killed?Upon reflection, yeah!
The odds here seempretty decent.
.Daphne Sullivan (Meghann Fahy)
Its Sutton fromThe Bold pop in!
Theyre gonna have to drag you out of here!
is an awfully on-the-nose thing for a murderer to say.
Plus, shes a stay-at-home mom who watches a lot ofDateline.
Will she be killed?She lives to find a body!No way.
Cheating on your spouse with the wife of the college buddy you brought on vacation is extreme dirtbag behavior.
That said: Aubrey Plaza.
Also, she wouldve named names if it was his body shed bumped into in the water.
So based on the available evidence, Im going to say hemakes it out alive.
(I say this with the highest of compliments).
But would having her character be a killer be too obvious a choice??
Verdict:Too soon to say, but Im not ruling it out.
The golden years, amirite?
Will he kill?I absolutely think this man is capable of murder.
Will he be killed?Weirdly, I feel like he will survive this trip?
Will he kill?He does not seem like a killer to me.
But maybe his wife knows something I dont.
Those screams were … intense.Potentially!
That said, HBO doesnt care about my feelings, soI wouldnt rule it out.
Will he kill?Oooof, he seems awfully squeamish for that sort of thing.
Maybe shell score a vacation fling with our sweet, sensitive Albie?
Because he possibly has a thing for girls who dress like Kimmy Gibbler?
and spends much of this episode being very awkward with guests and harsh on sex workers.
She probably has lots of enemiesandknows where to bury bodies.
Still, its early days.Has potential, stay tuned.
Will they kill?Lucia could definitely kill.
Gonna just go for it and saymore likely than not.
