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The vibes are deteriorating.
We are but minutes away now from some MURDER, so lets review our suspect standings.
I know that most couples dont make sense, but Harper and Ethanreallydont land.
Do we buy that they were ever in love?
Everything he says is the worst thing you could say.
It is very fun to watch him completely unravel after being such a dick about Harpers suspicions.
Hes so mad that shes in a good mood!
.Cameron
Having the time of his life, this one.
Pay your sex workers, Cameron!
All while dressed in the coolest threadsthe 1996 dELiA*s spring break catalog has to offer.
(I love her delivery of are you joking?
as a response to Jack asking whats wrong with the world, and the way she says what hole?
knowing what we know about Jacks extracurriculars is just perfection.
)Will she kill?You know what?
All things in moderation, I always say.
Anyway, shes having the kind of incredible night you know is going to lead to a horrifying morning.
Enjoy it while it lasts!
How exactly did they think that was going to work?
I mean, even if any of them spoke textbook Italian, theyd need someone who could understand dialect!
She bugs Ethan once, briefly, and then just … goes off on an (unpaid!)
mission to play translator for her new boyfriend?
Why isnt she just making Dominic buy her silence?
Very kind of her to give away a free orgasm as a birthday gift.
.Valentina
Tanti auguri a te, Valentina!
Im upgrading her to avery possible murderer.Will she be killed?As we know,Valentina lives.
Cant you just be cool?
(Thats what she wanted, Dad, is … one way to see it!)
.Dominic
I am docking points for his failure to anticipate the need for a translator.
before shaking artichokes at these boys until they flee.
He seems to be having the shittiest time out of all the men in his family.
Hes house poor (or palazzo poor would be the more accurate term, I guess.)
.Greg
WELL.
Vast conspiracy implicating all parties?
Id watch my back if I were him.
.Isabella
Congratulations on your engagement to Rocco!
Good luck getting him back at the desk with you.Will she kill?
Nah.Will she be killed?We saw her in the premiere, right?
I feel like we knowshes gonna make it.
.Nicolo
He always carries a gun, which we have now seen.
