Heres just how racist improv theaters can be, according to Amber Ruffin.
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the sisters look back on times they experienced racism in the workplace.
Heres a story about the best supervisor Lacey has ever had.
One day, Lacey came in to work talking about a new program that gives African children laptops.
Its a new kind of laptop that can be manufactured for a hundred dollars a pop.
Lacey was talking about how great it was.
Between his giggle fits, he said, What are African kids gonna do with laptops?
What are they gonna do with it?
Okay, theyll learn things, but what will they do with what they learn?
It ended with him saying, Well, I dont see the point and Im against it.
How can you be against children learning?
Two terribles for the price of one?
Of all the supervisors Lacey has had in her life, that man said the fewest racist things.
Its the quiet ones, yall.
And, for contrast, heres a story about one of my bosses!
A million years ago, I used to work at a comedy theater.
Throughout my career, Ive worked at a few.
It was the best learning experience and I made some real friends for life while I was there.
There was a bar across the street we would drink at almost every night.
He would always tell me how proud he was of me.
It was a magical time.
Everyone laughs, the idiot gets the point, and you’re able to save face.
Only the two of you know you are dead serious.
No ones ever going to go, Well, Marcus lets me callhimdarkie.
He says its funny.
Thats the trade-off you make.
Its gonna be a huge piece in the Sunday edition.
We go downtown to the office and take pictures at a studio!
There are six people in the cast.
The person writing the article divides us into two groups to talk to us.
We end the interview and get back to work and forget all about it.
A Sunday or two later, I wake up with a million voice-mails on my phone.
I immediately assume someone has died.
I listen to the first voice-mail.
Its a guy who works at the theater.
Thats messed up and if you want me to say something, I will.
What in the world does the article say?
They all say the same thing.
I snatch up the paper and head back to my apartment.
I find our article!
There are a million pictures of us.
The cast looks happy and cute and in love cause we are!
I read the article and I get to the part everyones talking about.
I think Ambers been here for twelve whole minutes.
And they had a right to be.
Their own mediocrity never crosses their mind.
Frankly, the fact that that guy said that did not shock me or hurt my feelings.
At this point, I had known him for a while.
I knew who he was and didnt really care.
The fact that he felt that way didnt bother me in the slightest.
He was not the first to say that and would not be the last!
So I thought,Well, that sucks, but its not that bad.
Its just oneguy.Then I read the rest of the article.
The whole article was about diversity.
They had segregated us to talk to us about diversity.
I hope they find this and understand the fact that they are a bad human being.
Theres a feeling that the most talented improviser should get the job, period.
But its also about content.
Its also about being truthful to the community you live in.
Someone who isnt the best improviser may have a lot to say.
This sent me into a white-hot rage.
Look, that one guy saying that one idiotic thing that negates my talent is fine.
They know hes liable to say anything.
Also, his feeling like that was a secret only to white people.
I wouldve had money on him saying that out loud to my face by then.
Hey, whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.
This insinuates that we arent talented!
This is also something people love to do.
They love to act like there were no Black people good enough.
No one wants to be like, Hmmm.
Ive never met a Black person I thought was actually good enough to be in my little show.
About, like, a ton of stuff.
We literally use it to survive.
Im doing it RIGHT NOW.
Anyway, my boss had shown his whole ass and would need to pay.
I call Mom, Lacey, and Angie and ask them how to handle this butthole of a situation.
I dont want to, but Im going to have to talk to this guy.
That day I get two important phone calls that make me feel a lot better.
One is from the lady who was in this cast before I replaced her.
But when I got there, it turned out I had replaced her.
She gave me a lot of talking points.
She really helped me out.
The other call was from our director, who was almost as mad as I was.
The director also had never heard of that owner being a part of casting a showever.
He had no hand in the casting whatsoever.
He told me, I cast you because youre great.
You got the job because you were the best person for the job.
This really made me feel a lot better.
I reach back in my mind and conjure up this conversation whenever Ive let someone get to me.
Now theres nothing left to do but go have a talk with the owner.
I have my talking points and Im going to be calm and get through to him.
I would do this for the children.
Like Ol Dirty Bastard once said: Wu-Tang is for the children.
We teach the children.
I go into his office for our meeting.
My heart is beating a mile a minute.
Im nervous and ashamed and mad.
He starts by immediately apologizing for what he said.
I feel myself start to calm down.
He goes on about the history of the theater and all their outreach programs.
Does this man think Im here to pat him on the back for his work with the Black community?
Hes trying to get me to pity him.
What the fuck does that have to do with what we are talking about?
That fucking tears it.
I do not need to hear why this man needs my sympathy.
And how dare he make this about him and his feelings?
All this fool had to say was Im a crazy poop and Ill venture to not be.
I start yelling and go on for a while.
Youre creating a bunch of white men who feel threatened by my mere existence!
(We didnt have the wordincelsthen.)
He apologized again, and even though I cussed out my boss, I kept my job.
I live in the exact opposite world as Lacey.
Hows your family in Omaha?
She said, thats Amber Ruffin.
The two of them had a fun lunch.
Now, did he think she was me?
But he definitely did.
Copyright 2021 by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar.
Reprinted with permission of Grand Central Publishing.
