Vanderpump Rules
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It did not happen.
This isnt a yacht.
This isnt even a mini-yacht.
(Sorry girl, I couldnt resist.)
But theyre not done.
Did you know, he asks, that female alpacas all go to the bathroom together?
This is the real reason Scheana and Brock didnt get married.
She might as well just staple it to her forehead at this point.
When Lisa asks why she has it she says, I couldnt trust it alone in our hotel room.
Even a Holiday Inn Express has a safe in the room.
Also, your ring cost about $985 spread across four different credit cards.
I dont think anyone is really going to be coming for it.
Why would you say this?
Why do you think you get credit for this?
Its like when someone says, Well, at least I didnt get arrested.
Girl, that is what youre supposed to do.
But speaking of spending time in jail, its like these two forget that attempted murder is a crime.
Sister, you are about to get 15 years with no chance of parole.
Just keep your yapper shut.
But Im kind of living for it.
Katie says, Maybe this is a job for Tequila Katie.
This is exactly what should have happened.
Katie and Ariana are not disappointed when they finally talk to Randall.
Whats weird is that we dont even get to see him tell them.
So, is this suitably momentous for the show or not?
Those missing moments be damned, the party is a great success.
And Grandma Buttons is still crushed.
The expected chaos ensues.
Youre rude, youre obnoxious, and you dont care about anyone other than yourself, he says.
Then multiple fights break out around the venue.
James is yelling at Sandoval.
Lala and Ariana are making mew-mew noises at each other like a pair of fightingUnikitties.
What are we mad about again?
Did someone brief Raquel on her lines?
Is she totally off-script?
Guys, this is the price you pay.
This is what this whole function cost.
Welcome to the attention economy and late-stage capitalism.
kindly sign here so that the one corporation that owns all the companies now owns your best memories.
James asks Brock to leave the party and he takes off, calling for Scheana to follow him.
Am I kicked out too?
Of course you are.
You are the accomplice.
Also, if your man is kicked out of a party, you have to go with him.
But Scheana, who has never made a correct decision in her life, stays.
One by one our cast falls asleep, but not Toms Schwartz and Sandy.
