WandaVision
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Well, folks, we did it.
To paraphrase Robert Browning: Feiges in his heaven, alls right with the world.
But did we learn anything?
Was this all just remembrance of sitcoms and comic books past?
To an extent, thats what it was, yes.
A too-large extent, Id contend.
The meditations on grief were often deeply poignant (especially in this episode), but largely predictable.
All of that said, the showdidhave something to say, and that somethingisterribly relevant.
Well get back to all that in a moment.
For now, lets jump back right towhere we left off: with a bunch of CGImishegoss.
Wanda tries a magic blast on Agatha again, but she catches and absorbs it.
I take power from the undeserving, the elder witch crows.
Its kinda my thing.
Wanda looks at her hand and sees its become discolored, as if its been drained of blood.
The wicked witch is dead …or so it seems.
Wanda walks to him in disbelief and asks, Is it really you?
Not so nice a reunion, eh?
Its our beloved, colorful Vision, who throws Fision into a vehicle.
Wanda apologizes for not telling Vision everything before and he replies that its all right.
Its futile, says Fietro, noodling around on a guitar while wearing a beanie.
She tries to run and Fietro taps her, knocking her over.
I suppose that was inevitable in this series?
Meanwhile, back at SWORDs operating base, Hayward is barking orders while Jimmy is brought in in handcuffs.
Woo grabs the phone surreptitiously from behind.
(Oh, for Petes sake.)
God, all the Jimmy stuff in this series has truly sucked.
Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme, she says, referencing Doctor Strange.
Its your destiny to destroy the world!
Im not what you say I am!
Agatha just smiles and says, Oh, really?
Agatha chants in Latin (why is it always frickin Latin?)
Agnes doesnt live here, Monica says, realizing whats going on.
Fietro just chuckles: Boner.
c’mon spare my life!
Good luck, kiddos!
Back in the downtown area, all the townsfolk are yelling their grievances at Wanda.
When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares!
We feel your pain!
Your grief is poisoning us!
(All a little on-the-nose, but hey, its a superhero story.)
Amidst the cacophony, Wanda freaks out and her magic starts to choke all the people around her.
If you wont let us go, just let us die, like!
a townsperson (the one played by Debra Jo Rupp, God bless her) pleads.
Wanda says shell let them go and fires a magic bolt into the air.
It hits the edge of the Hex, opening it up, and she tells everyone to run out.
Westview starts to glitch out, flitting between time periods.
Welcome to the endgame.
Wait, no, we already had one of those in the MCU.
Below, a SWORD convoy races into the opened Hex.
Vision starts to glitch out and disintegrate, as do his kids.
Vision and the twins beg Wanda to help them, and Wanda reluctantly closes the Hex back up.
Then the SWORD trucks arrive and guns are drawn.
And then Fision is there, too.
We have reached the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.
But Im not the true Vision, only a conditional Vision, says Vision.
I request elaboration, replies Fision.
Therell always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us.
Wanda concocts a plan: Boys, handle the military Mommy will be right back.
(Okay, I LOLd at that line.)
Billy freezes the soldiers with magic and Tommy zips around to grab their weapons.
Well, all but one: Hayward is suddenly before them with a handgun and fires at the boys.
However, Monica rushes in to take the bullets, which dont seem to harm her.
Light glows out of her.
Hayward runs into his vehicle, but is slammed from the side by a familiar-looking van.
Its Darcy, here to save the day!
And to subsequently never appear again in the episode!
Kat Dennings must have a busy schedule these days.
So long, white boy!
Our Vision walks outside to reunite with Monica and the boys.
Mama Witch wakes up and says, You are the Scarlet Witch, harbinger of chaos!
Power isnt your problem, Agatha says to Wanda.
A magical crown, in classicJack Kirby comics style, appears on Wandas head.
But Wanda blasts them all away and tackles Agatha, launching them back into reality.
Theres a lot more MCU silliness with the women flying around and shooting pew-pew magic at each other.
Agatha starts sucking up all of Wandas life force/magic/qi/whatever, making the latter desiccated and wrinkled.
Once cast, a spell can never be changed, Aggie says.
This world you made will always be broken.
Just like … pause for emphasis …you.
Agatha gets ready to fire a huge blast, but it wont work.
She cant conjure anything.
Thanks for the lesson, Wanda says.
But I dont need you to tell me … pause for emphasis …who I am.
(Lotta emphasis to be paused for in this ep!)
Oh God, Agatha says.
You dont know what youve done.
Wanda lowers them to the ground and the sky stops being red.
Agatha pleads: You have no idea what youve unleashed!
Youre gonna need me!
If I do, Wanda counters, I know where to find you.
She mind-whammies Agatha into being Agnes, who cheerfully says, Hiya, hon!
Say, thats some kinda getup youre wearing.
Did I leave the oven on, or is that just you, hot stuff!
Wanda says Agatha now lives here and will never be bothered again.
is the trapped womans reply, and thats that.
(Id be mildly shocked if we never see her again in the MCU.)
The WandaVision clan walk away as the Hex recedes.
They enter their house, where its abruptly nighttime.
You know, Wanda says, a family is forever.
We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried.
You know that, right?
They kiss their kids goodnight and walk to the door.
Like a grieving Columbo, Wanda turns and says one more thing: Boys?
Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.
Great, now Im tearing up again.
Wanda wanders the living room, turning off lights, but Vision enters and turns one back on.
I just wanted to see you clearly, he says.
And there you are, he says.
(This was the point at whichI started bawling.)
But mostly, youre my love.
They caress each others faces and hands.
A single tear runs down his wifes face as he continues: Who knows what I might be next?
Vision starts to disintegrate.
So long, darling, he says, and disappears.
And this is what I meant about being in love at the end of the world.
But Im on deadline, goddamn it.
Ill do that this afternoon.
Wanda says shes sorry and that she doesnt understand her power, but will someday.
Wanda turns into the Scarlet Witch and flies away as Monica wishes her luck.
Wanda reaches the edge of Westview, looks back, and zooms away, out of sight.
But wait, theres more!
Thank you, cops!
We can always count on cops, cant we?
Inside, the cop turns into … a Skrull!
Yknow, that shapeshifting race of alien refugees fromCaptain Marvel?
I was sent by an old friend of your mothers, the Skrull cop says.
He heard youd been grounded.
Hed like to meet you.
The cop just points upward, and Monica looks very pleased.
Ah, but theres evenmore!After the credits, the camera soars over mountains and trees somewhere.
We get to a remote cabin, where Wanda sits outside with a coffee cup, looking pensive.
But in Scarlet Witch mode?
Poring over that book of the damned from before?
And she hears the cries of her kids coming at her, somehow?
Am I supposed to get whats going on here?
And thats a wrap onWandaVision.
And, like Wanda, were all building these elaborate fantasy realms in our heads to escape.
But someday, the Hex will recede and well be left with nothing but the grim truth.
All I and the show can advise you is to find someones hand to hold when it happens.
