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(Oh, what luck.)
An attempt to recapeverythingthat happened online in 2022 would yield a list that lasts us until 2024.
Here, how the scoring stacks up:
1 point: Do you remember the Slap?
Amber Heard and Johnny Depps trial?
Of course you do.
No entry getsone point in this post.
Now that were on the same page, well move on.
5 points: Layered drama that is borderline inscrutable.
Theres no hope of explaining these stories to someone who doesnt possess at least alevel-three grasp of the internet.
For each moment you remember witnessing, you earn the corresponding number of points.
Add them all up at the end to see just how online you were in 2022. all my apes gone.
Currently, @toddkramer1 is still tweeting about NFTs.
4 points:No one should hear the sentence I been hacked.
all my apes gone and understand it.
Sub-Reddit moderator Doreen Ford appeared onJesse Watters Primetime, which was widely regarded as a disappointment.
Others took issue with her decision to go on Fox News at all.
After locking the sub-Reddit to regroup, the remaining moderators ultimately removed Ford from her duties.
Despite this, the group appears to have recovered, now sitting at 2.3 million members.
3 points:This would have been a 5 until it hit Fox News.
Thanks to McCord, though, we now know thewrongway.
But she didnt stop there!
It was misheard as womblands, and thus, thanks toTikTok lip syncsand remixes, a meme was born.
Now almost all primary evidence has been deleted.
Its already reached IYKYK status and if youdoknow, then congrats: You just got five well-earned points.
Lambdabasted (March)
Hough denied exhibiting transphobia and accused Lamba of character assassination to theTimes.
So anyway I’m just gonna, as we say, leave this here.
And go take my dog for a walk.
Enjoy.https://t.co/X5rJW0WSrN
The veins remain!
The tweet received more than 16,000 retweets, forcing Snickers toassure customers, THE VEINS REMAIN!
This is what a dick-vein-less Snickers looks like, by the way:
its already beginning.
i just bought a snickers (my favorite treat might i add) and it came out completely smooth.
i need to be alone right nowpic.twitter.com/snOaZbRxFG
3 points:Snopes had to doa whole thingabout this.
(What would Mormon MomTok do?)
Many Mormon MomTokers associated with Paul rushed to deny their involvement, but how can you fake chemistry likethis?
3 points:Mormon,MomTok, andsoft-swingingare three words that are irresistible to the algorithm.
Even if you didnt think you cared, TikTok was determined to make you.
It was promptly torn apart by all of TikTok for committing the cardinal sin of being cringe.
Insiderreportedthat more than 220 people retained legal counsel to pursue claims against the brand.
the long-running internet rumor.
Tickle me pink (July)
Sorry, millennial pink is over.
the FDA, if it had ever been approached about a TikTok-viral condiment called Pink Sauce.
What do you mean, FDA approved?
Pii said inan Instagram Livewhen asked about the sauces safety.
I dont sell medical products.
The Pink Sauce is not a medical product.
The Pink Sauce dont contribute to your health.
Well, asked and answered, I guess!
Seriously is something in that sauceburning?
The TikToks went super-viral, turning into a trend that Netflix initially tweeted it was absolutely blown away by.
Netflix latersettled the lawsuit, but this does not bode wellforRatatouille.
Taylor Swift did as she always does and took the No.
The memes rolled in over the next week.
At least thats one way to interpret the lyrics to Anti-Hero.
Mardoll unmasked (August)
Most evidence of this has been deleted, but screenshots are preservedhere.
As a Twitter personality who organizes mobs to attack small accounts Im no stranger to bombing the defenseless.
Tracking the clues and allegations of these splits proved to bea full-time jobfor outside observers.
Cyrus and Siwa overcame that challenge by merging worlds and making content together.
Because places like Page Six started covering it.
After listening, its really hard not to side with the GF.
Ive been putting on music for 16 years or something like that, Mohawke told Insider.
If this becomes the defining point of my career, Im going to be really annoyed.
5 points:I need a video of someone explaining to King Charles III who Paytas is.
At the time, Prinsloo was expecting their third child.
Makes soft-swinging Mormons seem not so bad, huh?
Just kidding its all terrible.
She added, Why are you in bed?
It seems like nobody wants to work.
Get your fucking ass up and work!
4 points:Kim Kardashian did it better.
Fulmer has since departed the group and has been covertly andnot-so-covertly edited out of the remaining videos he filmed.
The situation even made it toSNL, where Novak would have done a much better job satirizing the situation.
McNally called the behavior contrived and phony.
The internet quickly rallied behind Emmanuel, but questions started to arise.
Are you keeping up?
Because it gets weirder.
She has not addressed the past slurs or the recent allegations of preferential treatment.
The whole internet loves Emmanuel the emu and Emu Girl, a lovely duo.
5 seconds laterWe regret to inform you the girl is racist.
3 points:Blake and an Emmanuel puppet appeared onThe Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallonin July.
But it turns out Carrie Jade Williams does not exist.
4 points:Finally, some Irish drama gets its moment in the internet spotlight.
But well go with Doja Cat changing her display name to Elon Musk and then fart.
The greatest Mafia movie ever made, it reads.
Martin Scorsese presents GONCHAROV.
A film by Matteo JWHJ0715.
About the Naples Mafia.
3 points:Im starting to think people lie a lot on the internet.
RESULTS:
Your year was …
0 - 30 POINTS: Kinda plugged in.
You probably still read a book before bed instead of scrolling your phone.
31 - 70 POINTS: One would call you extremely online.
You spent your work days scrolling r/NYCInfluencerSnark and now cant fall asleep without an ASMR video playing.
71 - 99 POINTS: Irreparably internet damaged.
