Winter House
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Austen is a prick.
In fact, this whole season ofWinter Househasnt really taught me anything about the cast.
Im getting no learning, no new knowledge.
They decide he obviously doesnt know, cause he and Lindsay are still together.
But what if he knows and just doesnt care?
From a reality TV standpoint this is excellent.
From a life standpoint, this is a really stupid idea.
Also, Kyle, youre his broseph; just go tell him.
Why you gotta make it crazier?
Lindsays defense is that it didnt happen.
Then she says she may have touched his leg and he said it was his dick.
Austen backtracks and says hedidntsay she touched his dick she just made an advance.
Um, sorry, but on this show we have editors.
Austen: Like I literally had to take her hand off of it.
Now, Mr. Kroll, would you like to revise your statement?
I always thought this whole scandal was like a vegan hamburger, no real meat and quite tasteless.
So what if Lindsay touched his dick?
Who cares about the timeline?
He says its in the past and theyre together and happy and thats all that matters.
Everyone else is concerned about it because their relationships are a bit more fragile.
Meanwhile, Lindsay and Carl are just loved up and sober and dont care at all.
But Kory wore a unicorn costume and somehow made it erotic, so Im down for the whole thing.
You dont think were dating?
Jess asks Jason when hes being skeptical.
Jason tells her that she would have to ask Kory.
Theyve been messing around on vacation for a week.
This is not the setup for a relationship.
This is a if it works, it works situation.
He might go to L.A. She might go to N.C.
This needs time to grow.
Jesss problem is that she wants everyone to be as bullish on this as she is.
She says everyone wants it to fail before it happens.
First of all, no one cares if it succeeds or fails.
She thinks Jason is being negative but, as always, Jason is being kind.
That is what he does.
How can you get mad at Jason?
Theyre playing some game that is like Truth or Dare mixed with beer pong.
Dude, what are you even talking about?
This makes no sense at all.
You have no attachment to her.
She was not trying to rub this information in your face.
In fact, she only brings it up becauseyou(meaning the boys) asked her about it.
What is your damage?
Ciara storms off and Paige, always the good friend, stays and yells at Austen for her.
You havent talked to her in four months since you fucked her!
Paige yells at Austen.
Paige then explains the situation perfectly.
(Dont ask.)
The next day he says hes going back to Olivia.
At Amandas urging, Austen tries to apologize to Ciara in her room and she throws him out.
Probably some of each.
Ciara makes a great point to Austen.
She says that he is always putting her in awful situations.
This summer, he totally played her with the whole Lindsay thing.
This trip he tried to spring the Olivia trap on her.
Who knows, who cares.)
God, this guy is just a sports-bar urinal cake that somehow found its way onto the floor.
May we never have to see him again.
May we never have to look at his scratchy-ass, three-button gray sweater ever again.
May we never have to hear why he prefers IPAs to all other beers.
