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Occasionally it is necessary toconvene a conversationbetween Vulture writers to discuss an important and timely issue in culture.
Kathryn VanArendonk:We are gathered here today to discuss WTF happened toGossip Girl.
Sure itseemedlike a terrible idea, but maybe it was actually brilliant?
At least it wasnt instantly boring!
Dear Gossip Girl am I alone?
And then not have the show follow up on thatat all?
That makes both of those things ultimately feel half-hearted, and leaves the teen characters feelingsounmoored.
What if a teachers gossipy observations about students became public?
What if a teacher with much less financial privilege decided to actually teach some rich kids a lesson?
What if that lesson caused real violence?!
Its not connected to anything the characters care about or act upon.
By the midseason finale, all the kids end up at a protest (for … affordable housing?
Sort of, maybe?)
ButGossip Girlcan only imagine using the protest as a backdrop for personal conflicts.
JM:So boring!
Theyre mostly reactive characters, to their parents drama or to whatever Tavi gins up.
or they need to get their parents money back from a scammer!
That could be easily transmuted into a plot point about a deb ball or getting into Yale.
Here, they seem to work backward from cool event to why everyone wants to go there.
KV:There are no stakes!
Sure, blonde girl wants her mom, Laura Benanti, to live.
And Tavi apparently wants to hook up with Zoyas dad.
Photo shoot gone awry fixed!
Boyfriends mom hates you whatever!
It was an obstacle!
It really mattered when someone didnt have enough money to buy a ticket to a concert, or something.
Zoya and her dad were supposed to fulfill that, but it disappeared almost instantly.
It felt novel to see all these mega-monied teens slouching around New York.
In the reboot, the only characters who register the oddity of wildly wealthy teenagers are their teachers.
The dialogue is stuffed with references to everything from pigs on Scruff to misconceived Ivo Van Hove Broadway revivals.
KV:Look, I am a human.
I am not above seeing a glib, insider-y Twitter joke and then typing lmao in my minds eye.
And yes, if you just look at any single frame of this show, its convincing!
I suppose at this point the question is, can it be saved?
Do wewantit to be saved?
As for how to fix it?
But more importantly, they need to get into some real conflict.
Julien and Zoya were close to some blow-up, but the show pulled away.
Linger in any wound!
Youve got all this glamour, trust the audience to follow you to something nasty for a change.
KV:Yeah, I think thats exactly right.
Its a weirdly cowardly show!
Make everyone sad for a while, but make it snappy!
JM:Okay, one final request: More Donna Murphy.
