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Joe says Shirley Jackson wrote that suburbia is where people go to come apart.
See, this is the kind of audience-surrogate shit I was talking about!!
But lets do what I wish this show wouldve done and stay in the moment.
Joe stashes his bloody shirt under the trash can of diapers.
Joe swears that he wants nothing more in this world.
Can she tell hes lying?
Im going to say … not yet.
Doesnt Joe realize that leaving town with Marienne right now would make her the prime suspect in Ryans murder?
When Marienne calls Joe to say Ryan is dead,sheimmediately understands that this will blow back on her.
Joes take: Lets focus on the positive.
Only Joe can see to her truest desires and realize them on her behalf.
Joe tells Marienne that he and Love are separating.
Can Joe kill Theo now that he just pinky-swore never to do a bad thing ever again??
He decides that he must save the teen who loved and fucked his wife.
Joe tells Theo that Love fooled everyone, then gets him to a hospital.
So Sherry picks up the gun and justshoots him!
Like, not a graze.
Definitely a shot in the leg.
Incredible, this whole sequence.
I hope she didnt hit a major artery.
Back at home, Love is scrolling through baby names with her lipstick on and her hair done.
But her reverie is destroyed when she takes out the diaper trash and discovers Joes bloody shirt.
She goes back downstairs where her captives are fighting about grazing.
The way Sherry says Heyyy is just fantastic.
Love is here for some girl talk: Joe is cheating.
Sherrysinstantresponse is: Love, kill him!
Joe was abusive, Sherry rationalizes.
Everybody will believe you!
Its always the husbands!
Her crazy eyes are phenomenal.
Except Dante reports that Love picked Henry up hours ago.
Shes ready to have a little chat.
Joe knows she knows.
So the wonderfully tense question becomes: How does Love plan to kill Joe?
Joe doesnt tell her that Theo is alive.
Instead, he brings up James, the ex.
And what Love did to him (murder).
He says, gently as possible, that he wants a divorce.
But she didntmeanto kill him.
She dosed him with this paralytic because she just wanted to talk!
Did you guys watchJustified?
If not, you should its great (Margo Martindale and baby Kaitlin Devers, among other treats!
Something to think about while youre lying there.
This show is so much more fun when Joe isnt the craziest person in it.
Love is, in my opinion, a little too confident about her dosing skills.
I cant believe she didnt take his phone!
Matthew still cant reach Theo.
But he sees Love drive away from the Quinn-Goldberg house and decides to pop over.
Matthew finds Joe and, through some tortured blinking-as-communication, learns that Theo is at the hospital.
I love everything thats going on with Cary and Sherry in the cage.
He keeps pawing around at the edges because the weak spot will reveal itself.
Sherry spots the keyhole in the door handle and realizes FINALLY there must be a key hidden inside.
Cary was right; there is a weak spot.
Sherry concludes that the weak spot is Joe and Loves relationship: They dont trust each other.
Love returns home to find Joe still on the floor.
Love outs Joe as Ryans killer, and the horror starts seeping in.
But upon seeing this daughter, Love wilts.
She tells Marienne to disappear.
Ryan is just the beginning of what [Joes] willing to do.
Marienne and her daughter leave, and Love has a new vision: single motherhood.
Very into the idea of literal suburbia being the cause of at least one death this season.
(you could read more about wolfsbane on this list of10 Plants That Could Kill You!)
Love sobs out her dying words: Were perfect for each other.
And her final blow: Henry will know that Joe is a monster.
Think of the juicy flashbacks wed get if we could see Love and Forty as little kids!
With the au pair!
And their psycho parents!
So Joe decides to leave Henry in Dantes care.
Joe writes a fake suicide note from Love that he sends out to the Madre Linda HOA listserv.
And: the murder of Joe.
To this end, Joe cuts off two of his toes (!)
and bakes one of them into a chicken pot pie (!!!)
Joe puts their wedding album in the oven, turns up all the gas burners, and torches it.
In voiceover, Joe tells us, It worked.
There was just enough half-charred evidence, including two toes.
Just in case you were wondering what the fuck was going on there re: toe-chopping.
Love became a bit of a folk hero, he says, more famous than Beck.
(Was Beck all that famous, though?
I feel like nobody in Madre Linda ever mentioned her.)
Jackson and Andrew take over A Fresh Tart but rename it Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History, ugh.
He has followed in the footsteps ofanother delusional American before himand gone to find his beloved in Paris.
